second and third filling....first date?

So I decided to try Internet dating for a second time....only this time eharmony! Word on the street is that it is a more serious dating pool. I thought that maybe this time I would find some fella or fellas that were truly interested in finding someone to date, as opposed to a booty call.

At eharm its a bit different there are stages of communication and it takes a bit to reach level 4 open communication. It was during the long holiday stretch (thanksgiving through new years) that the activity seemed to pick up. I guess we singletons all feel a little more lonely during this time?

I had reached level 4 open communication with a guy named Ben. We had had a nice phone conversation and were set to meet for a drink. He lived about 20 miles away and had insisted on coming to my hood for our first meeting! nice!!

We were to meet on the Thursday after Christmas, I had a dentist appointment that day but no biggie, I will have plenty of time to meet him after. I guess it had really been tooo long since my last cavity, I forgot. OK really I don't think I forgot what it was like, this time was just different. Real different, it was sheer hell. The dentist had given me several shots to numb me up and I sat there waiting for at least a half hour for the meds to kick in. Which was all well just not in my time schedule.

Finally the dentist was back and his mute assistant. They began drilling, my god! The sounds were horrible but what was worse was the smell! YUCK!!!!!

side bar............ I must tell you I have the most sensitive sense of smell! I call it my spidey senses. It is really like a curse. When a smell is bad, its excruciatingly bad. I have puked from smells! This is not an over dramatic reaction, like some in my family would believe, it is unfortunately a reality for me and as I said a curse. I wish I could use this great sense to work as a nose at a Chanel or work as a wine reviewer, but that is not the case.

I was struggling to not puke during this process. And then my body jumped off the chair because I felt the drilling!
The dentist asked if I was "OK?"
I asked "how much longer?"
he said "we're half way done" I thought I could just power through it!
The bad part he meant he was half way finished with ONE tooth! He just didn't tell me that part, had I known I might had, NO... I would had opted for another shot.
An hour later and much drilling I was finally finished. The good news, I didn't need a crown ( I never knew I was in the running for one) and I had two upper molars now with proper filings! YIPEE
The bad news I felt out of it and couldn't feel the left side of my face and wasn't sure when I was paying the office gal if I was even speaking English or mumbles.
Shit I was suppose to meet Ben in half hour. I went home to look at myself in the mirror and make sure I wasn't somehow altered. I wasn't sure what to do?
Do you cancel a date because you had a trip to the dentist that went a wry?
I tried to take a drink of water. It fell out of my mouth, I couldn't even swallow!

Fuck the date!
I'm not meeting someone for the first time with a mouth that couldn't function. Now worse I had to call him and tell him. Could there be a more lame thing to tell someone?

I called with my new "tongue" so to speak.
"hi Ben, I know we are to meet in 20 minutes, but I cant meet you today. I had two cavities filled and I didn't think it would be a big deal but it was and I cant feel my face. I am so sorry I really would like to meet you what about tomorrow?"
Ben." yeah sure no problem same time and place?"
me "yeah sure again I'm so sorry"
Ben "feel better and I'll see you tomorrow"
me " thanks"
I hung up the phone relieved and yet feeling like an idiot!

The next day came it was time to meet him! I was excited, anxious, nervous and scared shit less! Millions of thoughts went through my head. What if he was like crazy eye boy? What if he was like the sex hounds only he hide it?
I powered through it.
I went to the micro brewery. I saw a guy enter the place as I was crossing the street and thought it may be him? I mean lets face it I had only seen a few pics of him on his profile, one of them he had a dog in front of his face, one he was in a snow suit and the third he was in a tux. So I really didn't know what to expect?

I walk in I look around, I'm not seeing him, OK one last chance at the restroom!
I walk out and see him milling about looking around. I boldly walk up to him (had a pep talk with myself...i can do this, i can do this) and introduce myself. Immediately my take charge self takes over
"do you want to sit around the bar? there are no seats. Do you want to sit at a table? do you want to sit in the eagles nest? " I was a nervous Nelly.
(the eagles nest is a term my friends and I coined to this area. Is like this loft like area above where everyone enters and exists the place.....needless to say some great people watching!)
Ben "sure we can sit up there"

We sit down order a beer and we're off! The conversation was good, he was funny I thought it was successful! I only put my foot in my mouth once. I teach French, he asked me if I had my Masters in French, I said "no who would get a masters in French? totally impractical for a high school teacher"
"my sister has her Masters in French"
me on recovery "oh I'm sure she must need it for her job, how fascinating! what does she do?"
"no your right she doesn't need it she works for an insurance agency"
heee I dodged a bullet on that one!

The convo was good a few more beers were had. He seemed like a polite, nice, normal, funny guy! He asked me on a second date!

It was time to go. Now closure how was this thing going to end?
We are walking out of the micro brew, he asks me where I parked I point down to the lower lot. He said "well of course I'll walk you to your car"
Now in my INDEPENDENT mind, the one that has been single for YEARS, at least 8 of them, is thinking "i don't need you to walk me to my car" but I filter..oh i filter! and think oh wait he is trying to be nice, ok nice yes, nice is good!
I say "ok then I'll drive you up to your car since its soo cold out"
We walk we talk to the car. I point out my car and unlock it we are approaching it from the passenger side. He follows me around to my side.
I'm thinking what the fuck is he doing on this side of the car, doesn't he want a ride to his car?
I open my door and get in, like I've done for YEARS!
and look at him and say"don't you want a ride to your car?"
He looks lost and confused and says "ahhh yeah"

At this point I'm still not sure what the hell he was doing on my side of the car!
He gets in, we are driving to his car and I'm thinking alright...now what.
We firmed (meaning it would be on Sunday)the plans for our second date....... a movie.
Then he kinda lingered around, both of us sort of starring off into space and then back at one another..... then asked for a hug.
I hugged him a virtual stranger.

He got out of the car. And then I couldn't stop laughing at myself!
I'm bossy!
Maybe its because I'm the oldest, maybe its because I'm a teacher or maybe just maybe that is who I am a take charge type of person!

I had to laugh at myself because I apparently have to take charge in situations. When it comes to a time, with any group of people, when things may be awkward or no one can make a decision I take charge, in my mind I think I am helping us all out.
In reality it could just be a case of a bossy control freak. But I would like to believe I am just a "natural leader".
Why did I have to "lead" the evening? take charge of getting the table? tell him to get in the car?
It never occurred to me that maybe he wanted to open my car door for me? hell do people do that sort of thing? or that maybe he wanted a little smooch?
I just thought he needed to get to his car and I was taking him there so...lets go!
I laughed and laughed at myself all the way home!
heee heee all the way home!

it started in 2007 a new year a new approach

So like many people I decided I would try the Internet dating thing. I hadn't dated in a LONG time and thought I needed a new approach?

Which had only led me to meet some guys willing to meet for sex and one guy who in his photo looked like a normal human being, only upon face to face introductions that I quickly realized this first meeting was all wrong.....if I could have turned into dust at that moment and blown away I would have.

This guy wanted to go on a full-blown "I'll pick you up and bring you roses" first date. I suggested that perhaps we meet for a drink first.

Well we decided to meet at a local restaurant/bar I pulled in the parking lot and see these arms waving outside a car window. I'm thinking to myself...do i know this person? or is this a compete freakish stranger?
I get out of the car trying to avoid the arm flailer. The arm guy gets out of the car with gusto and is headed my way...YIKES!
oh wait that is THE guy! He walking up quickly and I notice he has a crazy eye. ( i realize to many this may sound completely shallow....but this eye was doing more somersaults than i did my entire childhood....i couldn't keep up)

Honestly at that moment I wished I wasn't there! But I was! So then he hugs me...OK Idon't know about you but I don't hug strangers, and he was a stranger regardless if I had spent maybe in totality 2 hours of my life in some form of email or phone communication with him! SO I tried one of my old basketball moves trying to roll out of it. arghh what to do?

I suggest we go inside...maybe we could have a conversation and things would get better! Ive got to "try" right?! I'm always receiving advice from family that I should try to meet someone and try to not be myself so much. ( which side bar .....I've never understood how I could try to not be myself so much? what the hell does that mean? who should I try to be? but any way...)
I tried I was there for an hour and a beer!

And I couldn't run out of there fast enough I agreed to go on his dream date with him. With my insisting that bringing me flowers on the first date was contrite and ridiculous, I got him to agree on this issue, or rather comply.

Once I left there I knew I couldn't go out with him. I'm just a coward and couldn't deal with his face to face Inquisition about why I couldn't go out with him. He called the next day, I let it go to voice mail and listened to his plan for the date. Dinner at an expensivew restaurant and a movie.

Then called him back to tell him about my plans, or lack of plans with him. It went to voice mail, I told him that I just wanted to be honest with him and not waste any of his time but that I didn't feel a connection..yadda yadda... sorry....best of luck to you in the future.
He called back and left me a message telling me that "it was people like me, selfish people, that is the reason he is single?"
So anyhow after crazy eye and many other failed attempts I decided maybe this approach wasn't so great after all?