it started in 2007 a new year a new approach

So like many people I decided I would try the Internet dating thing. I hadn't dated in a LONG time and thought I needed a new approach?

Which had only led me to meet some guys willing to meet for sex and one guy who in his photo looked like a normal human being, only upon face to face introductions that I quickly realized this first meeting was all wrong.....if I could have turned into dust at that moment and blown away I would have.

This guy wanted to go on a full-blown "I'll pick you up and bring you roses" first date. I suggested that perhaps we meet for a drink first.

Well we decided to meet at a local restaurant/bar I pulled in the parking lot and see these arms waving outside a car window. I'm thinking to myself...do i know this person? or is this a compete freakish stranger?
I get out of the car trying to avoid the arm flailer. The arm guy gets out of the car with gusto and is headed my way...YIKES!
oh wait that is THE guy! He walking up quickly and I notice he has a crazy eye. ( i realize to many this may sound completely shallow....but this eye was doing more somersaults than i did my entire childhood....i couldn't keep up)

Honestly at that moment I wished I wasn't there! But I was! So then he hugs me...OK Idon't know about you but I don't hug strangers, and he was a stranger regardless if I had spent maybe in totality 2 hours of my life in some form of email or phone communication with him! SO I tried one of my old basketball moves trying to roll out of it. arghh what to do?

I suggest we go inside...maybe we could have a conversation and things would get better! Ive got to "try" right?! I'm always receiving advice from family that I should try to meet someone and try to not be myself so much. ( which side bar .....I've never understood how I could try to not be myself so much? what the hell does that mean? who should I try to be? but any way...)
I tried I was there for an hour and a beer!

And I couldn't run out of there fast enough I agreed to go on his dream date with him. With my insisting that bringing me flowers on the first date was contrite and ridiculous, I got him to agree on this issue, or rather comply.

Once I left there I knew I couldn't go out with him. I'm just a coward and couldn't deal with his face to face Inquisition about why I couldn't go out with him. He called the next day, I let it go to voice mail and listened to his plan for the date. Dinner at an expensivew restaurant and a movie.

Then called him back to tell him about my plans, or lack of plans with him. It went to voice mail, I told him that I just wanted to be honest with him and not waste any of his time but that I didn't feel a connection..yadda yadda... sorry....best of luck to you in the future.
He called back and left me a message telling me that "it was people like me, selfish people, that is the reason he is single?"
So anyhow after crazy eye and many other failed attempts I decided maybe this approach wasn't so great after all?